throwin’ myself out there in 2008*.
* I started this post on my way to Seattle in mid-December and finished it on January 3rd.
I figure there is no better time to start reflecting on my life than thousands of miles up in the air. As far as I can remember back, I have been absolutely terrified of heights. It could be the second story of a mall, an elevator or a large rollercoaster. The worst of it, of course, being in an airplane.
It is not the take off or the landing that bothers me and I can look out the window just fine, but getting out of my seat to walk to the bathroom, I feel like I am walking on air. I feel a lack of control for my own life and the deep knot stuck in my throat during a flight does not leave until I can see people on the ground again.
So I sit here, 9:20PM on a Thursday, less than 50 people on the plane, a whole aisle to myself and it just so happens I have a 4 year old kicking the back of my chair at the moment. I am probably somewhere over southern Oregon, just waiting for my cranberry vodka to get here.
The metaphor of being suspended in mid-air, feeling like I am NOT in control is the perfect representation of my life in 2008. It has been one of the most trying years of my entire 27 years of existence. In the past I have gone through moving to San Diego away from everything that was familiar and a failed engagement, but this year marked the year I truly felt I transformed from a child to an adult.
It was my first (and hopefully only) lay off from a marketing job that I was passionately dedicated to, the first time that I was truly stressed about my credit and lack of money during the period of time I was unemployed, my first full year living alone, the first year I have felt completely disengaged with parts of my own family and the first year since I started dating that I did not officially call anyone my boyfriend.
“You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fucking khakis.”
Job wise, I landed on my feet and found a great job helping to bring my new public relations agency into the social media world. One of the challenges that I will face in 2009 is continuing to convince current and perspective clients that they need to look beyond ROI and see that social media allows for their brands to have a true connection with their consumers. This is a challenge I plan on facing head on in the new year.
In October, I moved into an amazing house in Alexander Valley with two awesome brothers who recently moved here from Chicago. They are like the brothers I never wanted, but have grown to tolerate and sometimes enjoy. The situation works for me, because even if we aren’t necessarily hanging out while at home, just knowing they are there makes me feel at home. The house just feels “warmer” than my one bedroom apartment… I am not sure how to exactly explain it.
Not matter how many heartaches I was faced with this past year, looking back on all of the pictures that have shaped my year, I cannot help but smile remembering all of the great times that I have encountered over the year. Each laugh as well as each heartache has given me a better perspective of who I am as an adult.
My favorite picture of my year: